just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
