But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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