if you like me you must not know who I am
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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