This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
