At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
