I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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