Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
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We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
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Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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