i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
