So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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