Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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