Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
