i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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