Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
