Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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