His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
