Got a toothbrush?
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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