Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
