Jerry, you need to find god
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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