You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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