question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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