I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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