You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
bring money and cleavage
party gras won. party gras always wins.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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