trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
