Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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