never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
