my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
