Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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