Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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