Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
