Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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