why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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