Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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