If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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