Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
