I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
