worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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