Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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