I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
