I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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