At least make sure they are 18
Why
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
