I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
