I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My pussy is not your playground.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
