My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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