That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
did you just send me my own nude
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
