I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize