he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I could fuck to npr.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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