okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
