Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
