Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
