She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I want a musical about memes.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
