I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
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How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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