she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize