eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
