eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
