Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
