i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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