i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
