I need help removing her.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
