Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
