Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
