I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
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i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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