This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
