so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I have post one night stand depression
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