Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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