i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am naked and annoyed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize