i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
