i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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